I was captured by aliens

I know, I know, I make promises and then I break them. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to write about government. I have better things to write about. Indeed. I have a little story to tell.

Once upon a time, a few days before Valentine's Day, a boy (let's call him Mike) decided that he had worked at his job long enough without using any of his money. So, he decided to get the sweet new Microsoft mp3 player, the Zune. So, using his money, he bought one. He was very very excited that it had free wireless file sharing and that it was much better than the iPod video. And he was also excited that he could download songs from any song provider, not just iTunes. He also liked how much he could customize his Zune. He especially liked the sleek black color of the Zune.

BUT! When he tried it out on his computer, it failed to charge. Indeed, it failed to do anything, including shutting off. Mike was not happy. He yelled, he screamed, and he even hit the computer. After much calling of various help hotlines, he learned that his Zune was defective. Mike was suddenly very happy that he had gotten the warranty. After he had apologized to his computer, he then fell asleep.

The next day he returned his Zune. He wanted another black one, but they had no black Zunes left. After sobbing quietly to himself for several minutes, he decided on the white one. Because brown doesn't work for mp3 players. What if it was to fall in chocolate? No more Zune.

So, with a white Zune in hand, he went home and downloaded all his cds onto it. He then saw that he had a ton of cool videos on it as well, and a very awexome song called "A Pillar of Salt" by the Thermals. Did I mention that Mike also got the athletic cradle-thing for his Zune so when Mike was working out he could also jam to Matisyahu? Oh yes, he did. And he loved it since it made working out so much more enjoyable.

Why, do you ask, am I telling this story? Well. Here comes the reason.

Valentine's Day was coming up. Mike felt sad because he had no Valentine. What better way to make himself feel better than to buy a Zune? And what chick wouldn't want to be Valentine's with a dude who has a Zune?

Mike had an asexual Valentine, which means that she was his Valentine but it didn't mean anything, and that made him feel a bit better since he knew that he wasn't alone. So, being the nice kid he was, Mike got his asexual Valentine a piece of gum. And also thanked her profusely. Isn't that sweet?

One Valentine's Day, Mike shoveled the driveway. In his minds of minds, he thought of some hot chick driving past, seeing Mike looking so manly shoveling his driveway, and then jumping out and smothering him with kisses. Of course, this never happened. And for the rest of the day, Mike was sick (not because of the lack of kisses, for his swedish dog Gustav had given him many.) with a bad cold. He missed piano lessons, and the opportunity or having some hot chick hearing his beautiful piano playing and smothering him with kisses. Mike cried bitterly at home, only feeling better when he listened to his Zune. Yes. His Zune saved him. His Zune was there for him.

And the moral of the story is that Zunes are more reliable than Hot Chicks.


Hope ya'll are well.

Peace!

Seth

A New Year

BLAST! A new year already! How could this have happened? Why, it feels like 2007 had barely begun! 2008? How could it be that already!?!?! *guard taps Seth on shoulder, and whispers in his ear*

Oh. It's 2006 that is gone. Of course. I knew that. Time doesn't really matter in Happy Hills.

What happened this year to Seth, you may ask. And I reply that this year was more remarkable not for what happened but for what DIDN'T happen. Mainly, I missed The Feast, and we didn't go on vacation in Idaho this summer. However, I have ranted about that state of affairs much too much, so I will touch on what other things I did.

I went to Christ Academy this year, again. And of course, I loved it. It was again a great experience, and I would urge any young man (sadly, we are not ELCA ;) ) to considering going to Christ Academy. It's like Higher Things, except more intense. And you only see girls once during the two weeks, and that's at Cedar Point. Yeah.

What else happened? Well, not much. I started my junior year, which has been hectic. And depressing. And euphoric. All at the same time. I think I'm bi-polar. (HAH! I GUESS I'M IN THE RIGHT PLACE, THEN)

I started a job at the library. Which has been interesting, as you may know if you have heard any of my horror stories.... <_<

There was the Higher Things retreat, which was fun. I got to meet Ethan and Paul and Rae and other people. It was good times. Plus, I got to see what Higher Things people really act like. I mean, I met Aaron, which was interesting, considering he tried to kill me, but I didn't realize all the Higher Things people were a murderous bunch of saber-wielding fanatics. ;) No, I know not all of them are. :D

But all that is in the past. Christmas was good. I spent it at home. I got a leather aviator jacket, which is awexome. I can wear it all the time, but I don't, considering there is a person in my ward who is obsessed with eating animals, and I'm afraid he'll try to eat my jacket.
Did I tell you all that I have a roomie? His name is Alfred. He's pretty normal, actually. I mean, I actually had a decent conversation with him lately. Most of the people at Happy Hills are, well, insane. But Alfred is just here for therapy. I talked to him about government, which will probably be my next post's topic!

(YAY!) And Happy New Year, peoples!

So I was going to write something about my various personas, when, strangely enough, today I found out just how much of a double edged sword that characteristic is. But instead I'll explain why I have been gone so long.
At work the about a month ago, I thought I saw a young boy that looked not unlike one of Captain Hurk's arch-enemies, named Square Jaw. I quickly rolled up the copy of Better Homes and Gardens magazine I had been flipping through and vaulted over the library book checkout counter and stabbed him through the leg with it. As he fell to the ground screaming in agony, I realized that I was not Captain Hurk, and this fellow was not Square Jaw. As the security guard Mike wrestled me to the ground (which was rather unnecessary) and as the librarians called 911, I also came to the conclusion thatI now had a few worries. Besides the fact that I was probably going to be put in an institution, I also owed the library another copy of Better Homes and Gardens. Which wasn't that cool.

A few court sessions later, I found myself labeled as "emotionally disturbed with multiple personalities and violent thoughts". And even after being dragged into Happy Hills Mental Institution yelling, "Personas! They're personas, you idiots!", my captors still did not unlabel me.

During my stay at Happy Hills, I found it quite refreshing that I could walk around in my pajamas all day, in my Captain Hurk outfit, my Setherz the Rapping Anti-Drug Hippie getup, my sith constume, etc, and no one persecuted me for it! I felt like my bonds had been broken (except for when I was in the straight jacket). It was around this time that I began a book called "Boy, Interupted". It's my biography. Someone told me that it may be too much like a book called "Girl, Interupted", but I disagreed and gave him my reasons.

1. I am perfectly sane, unlike the girl in "Girl, Interupted"
2. I don't fit in here at Happy Hills. Whereas the girl in said book does fit in at her facility.
3. My book is set in the present, while the other book is set in the 60s. And that's no fun.
4. My book is about myself, and I am a boy. The other book is about a girl. That may have been confusing, considering the titles, but it's something worth noting.

The young fellow accusing me of plagarism was then rolled off to shock therapy. Which was okay, considering I had run out of reasons.

Well, that's what life has been like so far at Happy Hills. Part Two shall come soon.

And this is actually my real self. Really.


I have been gone for a long while. For over a month. And yet, something hase come over me.... I have realized that I have many personas. And my latest is this:

THE AMAZING NAUSEATING CAPTAIN HURK!


Look forward in the future for a blogpost on that Amazing Hurk of a man. And his partner and totally HAWT chick Confusing Platypi Babe!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Soon, I say.
Soon.
Soon.

I'll just go about this like I have been posting every week.

I just finished a book called "The Looming Tower", which is about the making of Al-Qaeda and the road to 9/11. It was very interesting, and explained just how far back the roots modern Muslim extremism go.

This book was excellent. It almost felt like a thriller, but it actually, sadly, isn't... And as much as I wanted for it to end on a good note, I knew it wouldn't, for the book would end with 9/11.

The Looming Tower is said to be the most truthful accounts of the road to 9/11. Whether this is true or not, I cannot say. It was not biased, either, from what I could see. It simply told what happened, how it happened, and why it happened. The author did not go around pointing fingers, saying, "It's all Bush's fault," or "It's all Clinton's fault,". Instead, it showed that the Clinton administration was not able to fight Al-Qaeda as well as they should, because of lack of communication within the CIA, the FBI, and the White House. And when the US did act, they failed numerous times to actually deter Al-Qaeda. The Clinton administration had many, many other problems that*may* have led to this lack of communication (coughMonicaLewinskycough), but these are only mentioned. On the other side, the Bush administration is shown to be more willing to act, but slow to act. This may have been due to the fact the Clinton administration had built up walls between agencies, rather than tear them down. Whatever the case, both administrations are to blame, although the Clinton administration had much more time to do something about the threat.
During the Clinton administration, there was the suicide bombing of the U.S.S. Cole. There were the embassy bombings in Niarobi, Kenya. Both of these attacks were almost assuredly done by Al-Qaeda, but nothing drastic was done, besides shooting rockets into the desert. If the Clinton administration had done more, then perhaps 9/11 would not have happened. However, by the time Al-Qaeda was shown to be a real threat, Al-Qaeda had already become one of the most powerful terrorist organizations in the world.

Whether the Bush administration is doing the right thing by invading Iraq and Afganistan is a matter of opinion. However, one has to admit, no matter where their political standing is, that there has not been any new terrorist attacks since these invasions. Perhaps these wars have done something to undermine Al-Qaeda's power. What do you think? Please give your opinion on these matters!

(BTW, 5 more days until the Higher Things Retreat! Yay!)

Heaven

I've realized that the best way for me to write a post is to just start writing and not worry about having anything important to say. What a revelation.
I've also decided NOT to write about what is going on my life because its rather boring and it tends to be the same thing over and over. Of course, that's what life is, isn't it? The same thing over and over....

*here comes a tangent*

I catch myself wishing that my life wasn't the same thing over and over again. That's normal, right? However, when I have a ton of stuff to do, I then wish I didn't have so much to do. Why is this? Why can't I just be content? Probably because I've been raised in a world where we all strive to be constantly entertained. And when we aren't entertained by our TVs, our game consoles, our computers, our music, etc., we then label ourselves as "bored". How sad is it when I hear little kids five or six years old crying to their parents saying, "I'm bored, mommy!". And of course, I do the same thing... We all do the same thing. Whats worse is I find myself thinking, "Man, I hope Heaven isn't boring." I mean, wouldn't it get boring just to sit on a cloud all day looking down at the people of the world killing eachother? What do we do in Heaven? We praise God. So basically, we're in church for the rest of eternity. Wow. Sounds great. :P Isn't this sad? I'm going to live forever with my savior, and here I am worried I'm not going to have good time. The answer to all this is, nothing will matter is Heaven except that we are with our savior for eternity. Now I don't know the list of activities for Heaven, but I know that there must be a reason for going to heaven besides "missing out" on the other place. We'll be with Christ. That's a good enough reason.

Do you have friends that actually dread going to heaven too soon? I do. I was talking to one friend one day and she told me that she is afraid that the world is going to end before she has the chance to get married, be a mother, and stuff like that. I have never thought of it that way. I can't even comprehend this, for some reason. Sure, I want to get married and such, but I just haven't thought of the end of the world as cutting short my time here on Earth. Is it that I, as a Lutheran, don't believe that the End Times are coming? Instead, I believe that I have lived in the End Times for my whole life? And that I believe that the End Times began right after Jesus Accended into Heaven? If being married is what will make you happy, will not give you your "wish" in Heaven if you miss out here on Earth? I'm not sure that we'll even want Earthly things in heaven... What do you all think about this?

MICHIGAN RETREAT

OK, I've no doubt bored everyone with all my advertizing of this, but it worth saying AGAIN. :)

GO HERE, AND REGISTER! http://www.zionmarshall.org/retreat.htm

It's gonna be fun :)